fl0w3r

Today I’m starting over.

It is both a happy and sad day. In April 2008, I landed myself in the hospital. Very sick. That is when I found out that I was diabetic and my blood sugars were way out of wack. Not surprising because I was just under 300 lbs and the disease runs in the family. I ate poorly and I exercised…well never.

That was a wake up call. I had two young children and I needed to not only be around to see them grow up, but I needed to teach them something better. I did so well. I lost 30 lbs in 2008. I felt better. With diabetes meds and a better diet, my blood sugars were doing good.

Then it happened. I didn’t just fall off that wagon, I lept of the wagon. Plummeting to my unhealthy ways. The only good thing I’ve done is stay on my medication…which has kept my blood sugars from being dangerous…but have they been good? No. No, not at all. I’ve gained 11 lbs back.

So, today I am starting over. My goal for the next 2 weeks is to just journal. I’m not setting out to “diet”. I do intend to watch what I eat…but that isn’t my goal right now. My goal is to journal everything I do eat. I’m partnering with my handsome husband and starting today we are journaling and checking in with each other over dinner. We are just trying to be accountable right now. Beginning to make a change. While we aren’t setting out with a “diet” in mind…I’m certain that we WILL eat better when we have to be accountable for our actions.

Wish me luck as I start this all over again.

Food Log

Well, I suppose I shouldn’t be thankful for this kick-start to my weight loss, but I’d be lying if I said I weren’t. 

When I weighed in on Saturday (and didn’t get it recorded in the tracker) I had lost one lb and you know I was pretty happy with that.  Then yesterday I was hit hard with a violent case of food poisoning.  At least I think it was food poisoning.  I was the only one in the house that was sick and other than being very sore and having a raw throat, I have no intestinal/stomach issues today.  But I weighed in today and managed to lose 5 lbs in one day.  My “tracker” both rewarded me and scolded me with:

Good Job! However, you are losing weight too quickly and you need to slow the pace of your weight loss to no more than 2-3 lbs per week. You are strongly urged to consult your physician or health care professional. You have earned 1 White Star.

While yesterday I would have given anything not to be hugging the stool all day, today I’m a little thankful for the kick start.  I’m in agreement with the tracker though.  I’d rather take my weight off slowly and keep it off because I’ve yet to meet someone that lost it rapidly and managed to keep it off.

I managed to get on my dusty treadmill this evening.  You see I have a bit of an interesting situation when it comes to exercise.  Aside from the fact that I just don’t like it…you know, I never sit around thinking man, I’d really like to go for a walk or lift some weights.  Lack of desire aside, I have a full-time job and two kidlets.  The hubby and I work opposite shifts so we don’t have to do daycare…but this basically means that as soon as I get home my husband goes to bed.

The kids think the treadmill is awesome…but at their age an operating treadmill is fun but dangerous.  So, I have to disable the power until they are in bed.  By then it is getting close to 9 PM, I’ve got laundry to do, bills to pay, clothes to set out, etc.  I seriously have to force myself to do any time on the treadmill.  Then while I’m on there, I’m never thinking, “Oh this feels great.”  I’m always thinking, “How close am I to being done?” In addition, I’m obese and out of shape.  I start dripping in sweat almost immediately.  It only takes a few minutes before my feet and knees and sometimes even my hips start to ache.

Truth be told, even if I were in shape, I just don’t suspect I’ll ever be the kind of person that looks forward to working out.  I will probably always have to force myself to do it.  I don’t really get that endorphin rush or a feeling of self-satisfaction when I’m done.

All that exercise bashing aside.  I managed to get myself on there, just for 15 minutes…but I did it…and I’m happy about that.

Now for the bills and laundry. 

I’ve used the food journal for the past 3 days.   It is absolutely amazing to me how much I consume each day.  It is also amazing how often I’ve eaten…but didn’t consider it “food”.

For example, yesterday a co-worker put some Crunch ‘n Munch on her desk to share with the team.  Every time I walked by I grabbed a few pieces and didn’t even think about it.  I certainly didn’t think, as I was popping caramel covered popcorn and nuts, that I was adding to my calories and carbs.    It was just a few pieces right?

…just a few pieces about a 1/2 dozen times. 

Well, I wasn’t exactly sure what to post, so I thought I’d just start with who I am and what I want.  My name is Jenifer and I’m nearly 300 lbs.  I found out last year that I was diabetic and my blood sugar was completely out of control.  The initial shock scared me into change and I lost about 30 lbs.  Well, the shock has worn off apparently.

I’ve gained much of that back.  I fell off the wagon hard and I’m having a hell of a time getting back on the wagon.  I have all the incentive in the world.  I’m young (36) with two young children…a 4 year old and a 2 year old.  I have a wonderful husband and all the reason in the world to live.  Yet for some reason the desire to eat always takes over.  If only it were a desire to eat carrots. 

I’m great at taking my diabetes medication…now I just need to manage my food better and get on that damn dusty treadmill!

I’ll be praying to God for the strength to succeed.  Pray for me too, or if that isn’t your thing just wish me luck, I guess. 

Testing this blog.